Jobs the Senshi Should Never Take
by saturn88
Summary: Jobs the senshi should never have and what happens when they get them. Please read. *chapter 6 up w/a contest!*
1. jobs 1-10

I own nothing.

Summary: About all of the inners and outers taking jobs after getting high on sugar and caffeine. I'm not sure how they got these jobs so don't ask. People get a little out of character. The jobs are in no particular order. 

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Jobs the Senshi Should Never Take: Jobs 1-10

1. Job: Demolitionist

Usagi: *looking at control box* What button was I supposed to push? *shrugs* Oh well I'll just push all of them. *pushes all the buttons* *City blows up* O.O

Ami: *Blows up building perfectly. Then blows up all of the other buildings in the city to observe how they fall.*

Rei: Ok I flip the red switch... *looks around and sees a bird in a tree by the building she's supposed to destroy* Fly bird fly be free and live!!!!! *Runs after birds*

Mako: This'll be easy. I just flip this switch and push this button. *wrong building blows up* O.O

Minako: *staring and box* What am I supposed to do? *shrugs* oh well, I'll destroy it my self. Venus Love Me Chain!!! _3hours later _*still hitting the building with chain* Building...wont...fall. *passes out*

Haruka: I love this job. *blows up building perfectly* I have extra explosives. I guess I'll just blow up the rest of the city *blows up the rest of the city.*

Michiru: That box is filthy. I'm not touching it. *walks away and a young child blows up the city*

Setsuna: I wonder how this box is put together..._ 30 minutes later _*The city is falling down left and right and Setsuna is trying to rewire the box.*

Hotaru: I wonder if this box can do as much damage as my glaive can. *thoughtful look* Lets find out. *sets box to full power and blows up the planet*

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2. Job: Lawyer 

Usagi: What am I trying to prove again?

Ami: *Wins trial because nobody could understand her once she started talking technical*

Rei: *To judge* What do you mean he's guilt? My client is innocent, got it! *Death glare*

Mako: May I call a recess? *It's the 5467 recess she's called in the last 20 minutes*

Minako: I object!!! *Trial hasn't even started yet*

Haruka: We should all sacrifice ourselves to defeat pharaoh 90. That is my closing argument.

Michiru: Those judge outfits are really out of season. You should try wearing aqua robes, they're much more stylish.

Hotaru: *pointing glaive at judge's forehead* My client is innocent, got it?

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3. Job: Daycare teacher for 3-5 year olds

Usagi: Let go of my hair you little brats! *Throws children into a closet and locks the door*

Ami: Please be quite, please, please hush. *Looses all control* ALL OF YOU LITTLE BRATS SHUT UP!!!!!

Rei: Be quite. *hits loud child over the head with a staff*

Mako: Next person who talks gets to practice Karate with me. *Kid yells* *Mako beats up child.*

Minako: Be quite!!!! *Serves volleyball and loud child's head and child falls unconscious.*

Haruka: Next person who talks has to run a mile._ 10 minutes later_ *all children are running around the block and passing out from dehydration*

Michiru: *painting a picture* Well encasing them in clay sure did make things allot quieter around here.

Setsuna: Next person to talk gets a shot. *Holds up syringe* *It becomes instantly quite*

Hotaru: *Has lost all control and is holding her glaive* Death Reborn Revolution!!!! *Blows up planet* 

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4. Job: Worker at a nuclear power plant

Usagi: O.O It glows. I want to glow. *Jumps into chemical, makes the chemical active and blows up planet*

Ami: I wonder what would happen if I mixed this tank of Radioactive material with this tank uranium? *proceeds to mix the 2 tanks and blows up the planet*

Rei: I need something to practice staff moves on. That tank should do. *Hits tank and radio active chemical flows up and destroys a near-by city* O.O

Mako: *Does the same thing Rei did except she kick the tank*

Minako: *Trips, falls and her hand hits a button that launches nuclear rockets at another country and starts World War 3*

Haruka: *Does the same thing that Minako did except on purpose* 

Michiru: Neptunium!!! I'll take some home!!!! * Tries to take some and is arrested by the national guards for trying to obtain a deadly chemical*

Setsuna: *Does the same thing that Michiru did except with plutonium*

Hotaru: I wonder if this stuff can do as much damage as my glaive can? *Blows up planet to prove her glaive is more deadly than any radio active chemical* 

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5.Psychiatrists

Usagi: You are suffering from hunger *It's the 9834 person she's said is suffering from hunger

Ami: I see. *writes down some thing* You are suffering from tronoshinalmokira which effects the cramitano by releasing thronomesha into the ranoshmie *Everybody stares blankly*

Rei: *Not really listening patient* I don't care, go away. *45,775 she's sent away in the last 10 minutes*

Mako: Try physical activity *Patient is in a wheelchair* 

Minako: Eat sugar, it'll snap you right out of that depression.

Haruka: Kill Seiya, it'll solve all of your problems.

Michiru: Sure, if Haruka told you to kill Seiya you can sue her.

Setsuna: You are here by sentenced to the Time Warp *Throws him into the Time Warp just like her other 5655 patients*

Hotaru: I'm sick and tired of listening to people's sob stories! Death Reborn Revolution!!! *Blows up planet*

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6. Veterinarians

Usagi: Hi kitty! What's your name? *cat can't talk* Fine be that way *storms out of the office*

Ami: Ow!!! It scratched me!!! I need antibiotics!!! 

Rei: I refuse to heal cats. Cats eat birds.

Mako: OK *looks at instruction manual* inject blue shot into scruff of the neck. Alright *looks at shots* There all blue!!!!!!

Minako: Artemis!!! come here I need a test victim, I mean subject *Artemis runs and hides*

Haruka: OK. All I have trim the fur. This should be easy _10 minutes later_ *the cat is bald*

Michiru: Aaahhhh!!! It got fur on my outfit!!!! It must die!!!! *chases cat around the clinic with a knife*

Setsuna: *to cat* I have to go to a concert. Will you watch the Time Warp for me? *no reply* Great!!! *dumps cat at door to the 30th century and leaves* *All bad guys escape and take over the planet*

Hotaru: Stop barking now. *Dog keeps barking* Fine!!! Death Reborn Revolution!!!! *Blows up the planet* 

7. Librarians

Usagi: *to five year old* You should go outside and have some fun!!! Reading is bad for you!!! 

Ami: *To five year old* This is a great book that explains the genetic relationship between horses and donkeys using Punnet Squares and Trigonometry!!! *blank stares*

Rei: No food in the library!!! *Whacks man over the head with staff*

Mako: Be quite!!!! *Punches out the man who was talking*

Minako: Too many books! I can't stand it any more *replaces all books with video games*

Haruka: *Kid asks her why she isn't wearing skirts like all the other librarians* There's this wonderful thing called cross-dressing *goes on to explain to explain cross-dressing* *child tells her mom that she wants to be a cross-dresser*

Michiru: *Remodels entire library and paints it all blue*

Setsuna: It's too loud in here!!! *Sends everybody to the Time Warp* much better. ^_^

Hotaru: It's too loud in here!!! *blows up planet to achieve ultimate silence* 

8. Models

Usagi: *Trips and falls off the runway*

Ami: *Wearing leather pants and a black top* I've decided to become gothic. *Everybody passes out in shock*

Rei: Finally!! I can show the world how talented I am!!! *Trips over extinction cord and causes black out*

Mako: I can't walk in these shoes!!!!!

Minako: I have finally been discovered!!! *Walks right off the edge of the runway*

Haruka: *In a big, pink, frilly dress* I'm going to kill somebody *Leaps off the runway and kills the person who picked her outfit*

Michiru: *Gets jealous of other models and knocks the unconscious with her mirror*

Setsuna: *To make-up person* Don't touch the hair. 

Hotaru: *Wearing a shirt that says I love peace* I have seen the light!!! I love peace *everybody passes out in shock* 

9. 5th grade teachers

Usagi: *Has no idea what she's supposed to be teaching* 1 times 1 is 1? 

Ami: If E=MC2 and M=5 then what is E and C equal? *blank stares*

Rei: Mars is the most powerful planet of all. Know that and you'll get an A+.

Mako: Punch spelled P-U-N-C-H. And it looks like this *punches a boy in the front row*

Minako: Venus is the goddess of love and beauty! Know that and you get an A+

Haruka: This is a car. This is the ignition. And what we're doing now is called speeding down a highway at rush hour!

Michiru: Girls, I'm going to show the wonders of make-up. *Holds up a a giant case of cosmetics*

Setsuna: This is the Time Warp! Your new home! *Leaves children in time warp*

Hotaru: *hands a student the silence glaive* Have fun. *Student blows up the planet* 

10. Architects

Usagi: It needs to look like this. *Holds up picture of the moon kingdom* *She's on a budget on $500*

Ami: No! That column goes there. do to the fact...*goes into a detailed explanation of why the column goes there as opposed to three inches left.

Rei: Build an exact replica of my shrine. *She has 12 square feet of land*

Mako: Build a gym! *She has 8 pieces of plywood and a hammer*

Minako: It should look like this. *Holds up a picture of the White House*

Haruka: Build a racetrack!!! *She has a brick, and that's the full extent of her supplies*

Michiru: Build a mall!!! *Is on a $2 budget*

Setsuna: Build an observatory!!! *She's trying to build in the middle of an intersection*

Hotaru: Make a nuclear power plant!!! *She is arrested 2 days later for trying to build a nuclear power plant with intentions of blowing up the world*

So, what did you think? If you liked it I'll put up jobs 11-20 soon. The only way for me to know if you liked it or not is for you to review, hint hint ^-^


	2. Jobs 11-20

Here's part 2! Thanks for all the nice reviews you all are great! People still get out of character and I still don't own Sailor Moon. Well enjoy... 

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Jobs the Senshi Should Never Have: Jobs 11-20

11. Taxi Drivers

Usagi: *Has no idea how to drive car* How do you stop??!!!! *crashes into brick wall*

Ami: *She's on the highway and she's going 20 MPH* The slower the safer!

Rei: *She lit a fire in the front seat so that should could meditate in her spare time* 

Mako: *Standing over the engine* Darn car wont start. Maybe it just needs a shock to start it up* Jupiter Supreme Thunder *blows up car* O.O

Minako: I love driving! It's so fun! *She's driving on the sidewalk*

Haruka: *She sees Seiya on the sidewalk* *Chases Seiya for 3 hours*

Michiru: *Remodeled the inside of the car by adding lace and fabric with a flower print*

Setsuna: This car isn't going fast enough! *Attaches her garnet rod to the bottom of the car* Dead Scream! *Car goes 5,457 MPH*

Hotaru: I can't reach the petal! I know if I put a brick on the accelerator... *Puts a brick on the accelerator* I can't stop the car!!!! 

12. Toy Makers

Usagi: *Working the Sailor Moon toy section* Look it's my Scepter! *looks at package* Moon Stick? They called a 'Moon Stick' It is not a stick it is a scepter *keeps on ranting for the next hour*

Ami: This game isn't very educational *reprograms the game to quiz the child on math facts*

Rei: Gosh all of these toys are fire proof. Poor kids aren't aloud to burn anything *Makes all the toys burnable*

Mako: *Practicing martial arts* *Kicks the machine* Oops *Everything breaks down* It wasn't me, I didn't do it!

Minako: *Working in the Sailor Moon doll section* There is no way I look like that! *Destroys all of the Sailor Venus dolls*

Haruka: *Working in the Barbie Section* Everything is PINK!!!! I can't stand it!!!! *Dumps blue paint on everything*

Michiru: *Working in the G.I. Joe* There so ugly!!! I can't stand it!!! *Paints everything aqua*

Setsuna: They call these telescopes? These are not telescopes they are plastic tubes. 

Hotaru: I can't see the assembly line! *cuts the legs that hold up the assembly line so she can see* 

13. Janitor

Usagi: *Trips, falls, and lands in the garbage* Eeeewwww!!!!!

Ami: *Talking to a student* The benefits of recycling include...*lists all of the benefits of recycling* *the kid wanted to throw away a half eaten sandwich*

Rei: Why send it to the dump to buried when I can just burn it here? *burns the entire school down trying to burn the garbage* O.O

Mako: *Once again practicing martial arts* *Kicks the garbage cans and gets garbage on the principal* sorry?

Minako: It got in my hair!!!! NNNOOOOOO!!!!! My beautiful hair is ruined!!!!

Haruka: *To principal* Yes I'm serious! You need to replace the wheels on the garbage cans with Goodyear tires!

Michiru: *Arguing with principal* No I'm am not going to wear that ~yes you are~ No I'm not ~Yes~ No ~Yes~ No *It goes on like this until Michiru get fired 3 hours later*

Setsuna: Waving broom around. I'll send you to the Time Warp!!! Go away!!!! ~o.O~

Hotaru: *Somebody told her to go to class* You know, in school they tell you not to be racist towards people from other countries. What about the short people!!!! The poor defenseless short people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

14. Pediatricians

Usagi: *To 4 year old* Which shot was it again? Oh well, I'll just give you all 345 of them! *child runs and hides*

Ami: *To infant* Say 'Aaahhhh' *No response* Open your mouth! *Nothing* *Ami loses control* SAY "AAAHHHH' !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rei: *To 3 year old* Here hold Deimos *Child begins to tear out her feathers* Flame Sniper!!!! *Burns down hospital* oops

Mako: *Holds up giant shot* Hold still! This wont hurt a bit! *Child passes out in fear* Works every time!

Minako: What does this shot do? *injects shot into the secretary who passes out* O.O What does this shot do!?!!??

Haruka: Hold still *Chains kid to the bed*

Michiru: *Baby just threw-up on her* Aaahhhh!!!! It got in my hair! IT GOT IN MY HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Setsuna: *To her boss* You are totally unprepared for an emergency! What if small pox comes back in flue season along with polio! *Goes on to list other things that will probably never happen*

Hotaru: *Child is running around the room* sit down *Keeps running* SIT DOWN!!! *Keeps running* *Hotaru does the freaky eye thing* *Child passes out*

15. Nurses

Usagi: *Doctor asks her for the sedative* What? *No response* Oh well! *Hands him a tetanus shot*

Ami: *Doctor asks her for the 5 millimeter scalpel* But wouldn't it make more sense to use a 6 millimeter scalpel...*explains why he should use a _6 millimeter _scalpel*

Rei: *Doctor told her to warm up the shot* Flame Sniper!!! *Burns down hospital* *again*

Mako: *Doctor told her to knockout the patient* OK *Punches him out*

Minako: *Carrying a box full of shots* *Trips, falls, and shots hit everybody in the waiting room* Sorry?

Haruka: *Doctor just said 'nurse, will you come here for a minute?'* Do not call me nurse! *Hits him over the head with clipboard*

Michiru: *Has to give stitches* I'm not going near all that blood. Sorry, you can bleed to death, my cleanliness comes first.

Setsuna: *Man is complaining about a headache* Live out wimp.

Hotaru: I did it!!! I finally achieved my goal of becoming a nurse!!! *People in the waiting room are giving her strange looks* 

16. McDonalds Workers

Usagi: Would you like fries with that? *No* Would you like fries with that? *I said no* Would you like... *No already! I don't want fries with my McFlurry!*

Ami: I made your burger free of grease and your fries free of starch! Now your meal is healthy! *Customer throws-up*

Rei: Here I cooked your burger! *It's burned to crisp*

Mako: Darn computer wont work!!!! *Kicks computer and it breaks in half* No that comes off my pay check!!!

Minako: Hold on I'll get your meal! *Falls into a pot of boiling grease* It burns!!!!!

Haruka: I don't care that you didn't order onions. You need to stop being so picky *Gets fired*

Michiru: It's greasy I don't want to touch it! 

Setsuna: *French Fry is about to hit the floor* NNOOO!!! Time Stop!!! *Time stops*

Hotaru: You will eat the pickles! I don't care that allergic you will eat the pickles because I'm not going to fix you another burger. *Death glare*

17. Police

Usagi: *Chasing criminal* I'll reduce your charge if you slow down! I can't run that fast!

Ami: I don't believe in violence! I'm going to give away all of my weapons. *gives 2 year old the pepper spray*

Rei: Pepper spray!!! *Goes around spraying everybody with pepper spray*

Mako: *Looking at gun* How does this thing work? oh well! *Throws gun at robber's head*

Minako: *looking at knife* Sharp Objects!!! Sharp Objects!!! *Runs around the town screaming 'Sharp Objects!!!'*

Haruka: Criminal!!! *shoots him in the leg* *he's a middle-aged business man named Joe*

Michiru: I don't like donuts! 

Setsuna: I'm out of pepper spray! I'll make my own! *Blows up the city trying to make pepper spray* 

Hotaru: Criminals beware1 The government has given me weapons! *Criminals run and hid in fear*

18. Presidents

Usagi: Where is the Oval Office? *No response* I'm lost!!!!

Ami: Achieves world peace 12 minutes after being sworn in.

Rei: Every house must have a fire in it that burns 24 hours a day!

Mako: *Destroys the white house practicing martial arts8

Minako: I have ultimate power! Go me! Take over Cuba, and England, and China, and Canada, and Mexico...*goes on to list all of the countries on Earth*

Haruka: Launch the nuclear missiles! 

Michiru: Create a troop of fashion police to protect the US from clashing outfits!

Setsuna: All of our money goes to better hospitals! 

Hotaru: I have control of the army! *Scary-evil-plotting-look*

19. Actresses

Usagi: I can't play a sophisticated business woman!

Ami: I'm sorry but I can't play punk rocker

Rei: I refuse to play the head of the fire department

Mako: You call those special effects? I've seen better effects than that on Sesame Street!

Minako: I'm not a shy quite girl!

Haruka: I don't care how much you pay me! I'm not playing a Southern Bell!!

Michiru: No! I will not play a tomboy

Setsuna: I am not a obedient house wife!

Hotaru: So, let me get this strait, you want me to play a peace loving girl named Heidi?

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20. FBI Agents

Usagi: I have a badge! And it's shiny!

Ami: I have access to government files! I don't even have to hack into them!

Rei: *To boss* I sort of kind of burned all the evidence.

Mako: This investigation is taking too long let's just all 87098 suspects!

Minako: *To random people on the street* Your under arrest! Your under arrest!

Haruka: *To Seiya* Your under arrest for breathing. *Seiya: What!* *Haruka drags him to jail*

Michiru: *Criminal robbing the bank behind her* I don't know. I think this shade of lipstick is a little bright.

Setsuna: Criminals! Go to jail, or be forever banished to the time warp! *psychotic laugh* *Criminals run to jail*

Hotaru: *Chasing a criminal* I hate running!!! Give me your car! *Shoves driver out of the limo and puts a brick on the accelerator* *Runs over the criminal* opps. Oh well. 

So, how was it? Did you like it? Hate it? Tell me!!! If I get enough reviews I'll post a part 3 soon! 


	3. jobs 21-30

Hi! Thanks for all the nice revues! You all rock! I still don't own Sailor Moon. And people still get out of character so don't flame me!

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Jobs The Senshi Should Never Have: Jobs 21-30

21. Lab Scientists

Usagi: *Looking at instructions* Which one is Hydrogen? Oh well, I'll just us this one! *Picks up nitrogen* *Blows up the lab* O.O

Ami: These experiments are much too basic. I'll do something harder! *Finds the cure to every disease know to man in 32 minutes* I'm bored! There's nothing to do. *Runs around the planet trying to find something to cure*

Rei: *Reading instructions* 'Do not heat past 100 degrees Fahrenheit. *O.O* Uh Oh. *Explosion downstairs* Oops.

Mako: 'Send a small current of electricity through the chemical' Ok Small would about 435453 volts. Alright here I go. *Sends electricity through the chemical* *Lab blows up* I guess my boss has different definition of small.

Minako: *Holding a radio active chemical* It smells good! It must be perfume! *Dumps it on her arm* My skin is dissolving. That can't be a good sign.

Haruka: Uranium plus Seiya equals happiness! *Dumps Uranium on Seiya who is immune to it* Darn it!

Michiru: Oh look hair gel! *It's really Sulfuric Acid* *She puts it in her hair* My hair is falling out! My hair is falling out!

Setsuna: I call the plutonium! *Runs across the lab knocking down about 12 radio active chemicals* It's my Plutonium! You can't have it! ~o.O~

Hotaru: *Sitting in the corner sulking* All the other outers have elements named after them. Uranium, Neptunium, Plutonium. But is there Saturnium? No! I want my radio active chemical!

22. Archeologists

Usagi: *Throwing away 543456546 year old fossils that are worth $4585676535743 each* Rock. Rock. Another rock. Rock...

Ami: *Looks at every single speck of dust under a high power microscope*

Rei: This wouldn't take so long if the brush was more than 2 inches wide. *Gets her broom and tries to sweep the dust away* *_8 months later_* Too...much...dust...impossible...to...clean...

Mako: Their going to take all day carrying that thing to the truck if they keep being all careful like that. *Grabs bone and throws it into the truck* *It shatters* 

Minako: Here let me carry the bone! *Drops the bone and it shatters* oops

Haruka: It'll take forever to clear this site. Let me do it! Uranus World Shaking! *Destroys everything, including the fossils*

Michiru: It's too dry out here in the desert. Let me fix that. Deep Submerge! *Turns desert into an ocean*

Setsuna: Wouldn't it be easier to just go back in time and find real dinosaurs? *Team-yes... but we can't do that* Now you can! *Sends them to the past* Have fun!!!

Hotaru: *Team-get out of the work area little girl. Your mama's probably very worried* I'm an archeologist! *Team-that's nice run along now!* *Hotaru blows up the work site* Run along now your mamas' are probably very worried. 

23. Cartoonist

Usagi: I call it...Stick Figures in a Stick Forests!

Ami: I call it...the illustrated computer guide!

Rei: I call it...Flames

Mako: I call it...Stick People Fighting Stick Bad-guys!

Minako: I call it...I am Crakwa, Stick Girl!

Haruka: I call it...I am Cross Dresser, Here Me Roar!

Michiru: I call it...Cascade of Beauty in a Field of Memories. *All: stare*

Setsuna: I call it...Lines, Squares and Circles!

Hotaru: I call it...Me as Stick Person!

24. Clothing Designers

Usagi: Here! I designed a new outfit! *it's a blue mini-skirt and a white leotard, like her other 43556 designs*

Ami: Here you go! A new design! *Boss: this is a picture of a computer. I need _clothes_*

Rei: I need more paper. It all mysteriously burned. hehe.

Mako: Another Fighting Gi! *It's the 45765468745676 fighting Gi she's designed*

Minako: Here ya go! More designs! *Boss: these photos of your clothes* I know! There All so fashionable! Just like me!

Haruka: Here's my design. *Boss: I need girl's clothing* That is girl's clothing. *Boss: No it's boy's clothing* *Don't be sexist! *Hits him over the head with her sketch pad*

Michiru: Here you go! These are my rough drafts, I'll bring the real copies tomorrow! *Boss starts to cry* *Boss: Thank you!* *hugs Michiru* *Haruka starts trying to kill Boss with her scissors*

Setsuna: Here you go! *Boss: These are lines, circles and scribbles* yah...sooo... 

Hotaru: Here's my first set *Boss: There not colored* Oh it's all black. 

25. Eye Doctors

Usagi: You have 20/20 vision! Here's your glasses! *Customer: I don't need glasses* Everybody needs glasses!

Ami: I adjusted your contacts to fit your eyes better! *Customer: I don't have contacts*

Rei: Here let me give you laser surgery! *Customer: You don't have a laser* That's alright! I don't need one! Mars flame Sniper! Now all you have to do is let the skin grow back over your eyes!

Mako: *Customer walks in the door* You have 20/20 vision, go away. 

Minako: Here, sit in this chair! *_10 minutes later*_ I've secured your glasses to your head! Permanently!!! now you can't lose them!

Haruka: *Young child just asked her if she could get pink glasses* Why would you want _pink _glasses? Pink is a girl color. Us girls make a stand! Be a cross dresser! Join me in my quest to end male dominance!!!!!!

Michiru: The glasses come in aqua, aqua, and aqua! Which one would you like!

Setsuna: Can you read the top line? *Customer: no* Darn it! I knew it was a bad idea to let Usagi write the chart!

Hotaru: I don't know how to work the equipment, so would please just try on these 48578374687568756 pairs of glasses till you find one you can see through? Thanks!

26. Surgeons

Usagi: Blood. *Passes out*

Ami: Your all better now! The heart transplant went fine! *Patient: But I needed a _kidney _transplant* oops...

Rei: Ok I know what to do! *_10 minutes later_* Um, is it a bad thing when the line goes flat?

Mako: Clear!!! *Sends a bolt of electricity through the patient* *City blacks out* oops...

Minako: Don't worry! Being touched by the goddess of love and beauty is enough to heal anyone! _5 minutes later_ It didn't work!!! *Coworker: No really*

Haruka: I propose that we replace hospital gowns with hospital shirts and pants!

Michiru: Aaahhhh!!! I got blood on me!!! *Passes out*

Setsuna: Hmm, it's a long walk for here to the other side of the hospital...I know! *Jumps on a rolling bed and goes to the other side that way* Wait...This bed doesn't have brakes!!!

Hotaru: I surpassed my goal of becoming a nurse!!! I Rule!!!! *She' getting strange looks from everybody in the room*

27. Garbage Collectors

Usagi: No, somebody is trying to throw away a Sailor Moon manga! *Jumps into the back of the truck to get the manga.*

Ami: *Going through the garbage* This can be recycled, so can this, and this, and this!!!

Rei: I'll just burn it all and not even have to use the truck! _2 hours later_ *The city is burning down* ok...that wasn't among my most brilliant ideas...

Mako: Stupid piece of junk wont go! Maybe if I kick it...*Kicks the truck* *It starts to roll down the ally* No! I forgot to put it in park! Wait truck! Wait!

Minako: I got garbage in my hair. *Yellow light appears around her and starts to build in intensity* Goodbye Garbage!!! *Wipes out city* Hahaha!!! There is no more garbage!!!

Haruka: Heavy duty machinery! *Evil look* *Seiya: Haruka what are you doing? That's my house! You can't drive a garbage truck through my house!* Yes I can!

Michiru: *Never even showed up for work because she heard the word 'garbage'*

Setsuna: Hehe! I get to drive a big truck! _ 5 minutes later_ *Setsuna is arrested for reckless driving*

Hotaru: *Looking at a map of her routes* Wait...it's upside down! I thought I was in the wrong place! *She's in the middle of the pacific ocean*

28. Maids

Usagi: *To customer* Ok! I dusted the living room! Um...that vase wasn't very expensive was it?

Ami: *Everything is spotless, including the cat and the Dalmatian* I guess I made the vacuum a little too strong...

Rei: *To customer* ...I even lit a fire for you! *Customer: but...we don't have a fire place* I know... I used the oven as a fire place and that Persian rug as fuel! 

Mako: *Customer finds her on the floor with the vacuum* Um...I can explain...you see I got in a fight with the vacuum...it wasn't listening to me

Minako: Look at your beautiful house! *It's totally demolished*

Haruka: I don't cook, I don't clean, I don't wash things and I don't change things. What would you like me to do?

Michiru: I improved the over all color scheme of you house! *Everything is aqua...even the dog...and the goldfish...and the leather couch*

Setsuna: I decided to fix your attempt at the Egyptian furnishing. *There's a sphinx in the living room and the carpet has been replaced with sand*

Hotaru: Your house was a little too bright...I fixed it for you. *Customers Husband: Honey...why is everything black?*

29. Military Generals

Usagi: And apply the lipstick! Very good! Come on boys! Your lagging behind! We finished the eye-shadow an hour ago!

Ami: Good! 8 more laps! *Boy: But were supposed to be training for the air force! Not the marines! 

Rei: And jump! I said jump! Your jumping! *sets the ground on fire* Now, that's jumping!!!!

Mako: jump, kick, punch! Roll, push-up, splits, come on you wimps! Lets go! *Boy: were only 13 and were not superhuman!!

Minako: Alright this all you'll ever need to know in all your days of ground fighting! This is pepper spray! When you push this button spray comes out! Here's what it looks like! *Sprays kid in face* *Kid: Aaahhhh!!! It burns!!! It burns!!!

Haruka: Alright you wimps! I'm going to turn you into men!!! *Man: But your a girl* *Haruka kills him* Any more comments?

Michiru: And were brushing! Good! Come on boys work the gel! Feel the gel! Be one with the hair gel.

Setsuna: This is a gun. This is what a gun does! *Shoots man if first row* Any questions?

Hotaru: Today we're going to work with glaives. *Man: Aren't you a little bit weak to be a general?* *In a few swift movements Hotaru has him pinned to the wall with her glaive* Anybody else? 

30. Accountants

Usagi: You have 1 million dollars! *People leave* Wait...there's a decimal there...oops...they have $10

Ami: You have $859,388.87 . Here's a list of houses, and apartments, and cars, and furniture that all fit your budget! *People fall over do to the weight of the paper*

Rei: You have money to burn! Here let me burn it for you! *Sets their wallets on fire* Come back soon!!!

Mako: You have $76,653,846.90!!! May I insist that you sign your child up for martial arts!! *Person: He's three years old* That's ok! Here watch! *Performs martial arts on the boy*

Minako: You have 48,899.72! Here's a list of things you can buy me!

Haruka: You have $40,000! *Everybody she's seen today has had $40,000*

Michiru: You have lots of money! *Person: exactly how much money do we have?* Lots!! *Person: Can you give me a number?* Lots!

Setsuna: You have plenty of money. *Person: Can I buy a house?* Sure. *Person: and a car!* Sure. *She really has $600*

Hotaru: You have $5. Now you owe me $5! 

Well...I have some ideas for some other humor fics. Should I continue with this one or do the others? Please tell me! I can't decide!!! It's too hard to decide!!! So please help me!!!! 


	4. jobs 31-38 and somthing special

Saturn88 :Ha! You thought you could get rid of me that easily! No way! I'm back and I'm not ever going to go away again! So there! People get out of character. And I own Sailor Moon!

Pluto : No she doesn't.

Saturn88 : Yes I do! I own you!!! *Evil laugh*

Pluto : Hotaru dear, call the insane asylum, the number's on the fridge.

****

Jobs The Senshi Should Never Have: Jobs 31-38

****

31. Butchers

Usagi: Aaahhhh!!! blood!!!! *passes out*

Ami: *Lecturing her boss on how to make the machines more energy efficient*

Rei: I know! I'll pre-cook the beef! _5 minutes later_ *Trying to explain to her boss how she managed to burn down the entire building in 2 minutes*

Mako: This machine is sooo slow . Maybe if I jump start it with a little electricity...*jump starts the machine* *building blows up*

Minako: *Releases all the livestock* Run! Run and be free!!!!

Haruka: I wonder if Seiya would count as livestock...*Starts to plot*

Michiru: *To co-worker* You got blood on my apron. Now I must kill you. *Chases him around building with a knife*

Setsuna: I cannot kill a living animal. *Haruka: it's a yoma!* Die!!!!

Hotaru: *Trying to lift a knife* It's too heavy!!! *Collapses to floor*

32. Cheerleaders

Usagi: *raising hand* *Coach: No Usagi! For 75,396,874,586th time you may not switch out your cheerleading outfit for your Sailor fuku!*

Ami: *To coach* The pyramid should work if Alison moves 8 mm left, Sandy moves 4 mm right...*Goes on to list all the girls and where they should move*

Rei:*raising hand* *Coach: No Rei, you may not twirl a flaming baton!*

Mako: This a little dull. Blots of lightning would make it more interesting! *Electrocutes every body within 56 miles of the cheerleading field*

Minako: I am the best cheerleader ever!!! *Trips and falls*

Haruka: *Looking at cheerleading outfit* I am not wearing that thing.

Michiru: *raising hand* *Coach: No Michiru we not going to make the outfits aqua*

Setsuna: But I'm a nurse!!! I can't be cheerleader! 

Hotaru: I can't believe I'm a flyer. *To catcher* You drop me, I kill you 

****

33. MBI Agents

Usagi: Flashy memory thing! *Flashes herself* who am I?

Ami: I have access to alien government files! Score!!!

Rei: Explain to me again why I can't just burn all of the aliens.

Mako: Whoa big gun. *Fires it* *destroys the world* O.O

Minako: Delete! Delete! Delete! *Boss: What are you doing?* Deleting all your files! *Boss: WHAT?!?!*

Haruka: Yes! Seiya is an unregistered alien! Score!!!

Michiru: *To Boss* We need to change the name of this place to WIA. Women In Aqua! *Boss: Let me think about. No*

Setsuna: What does this shot do? *Injects it into a random human* *They turn yellow and float away* Oh that's what it does!

Hotaru: *To random alien* Can I blowup your home planet? *Strange looks from all within hearing distance*

34. Disney World Characters

Usagi: *As Jasmine from Aladdin* Hi! Hi! Hi! *Trips on little kid*

Ami: *as Snow White* No. I can't sing like a little bird or call up little woodland creatures. But I can teach you algebra!

Rei: *As Minnie Mouse* *Burns down Disney World*

Mako: *As Goofy* *to 3 year old* I know I have girls voice.

Minako: *As Daisy Duck* I wanted to be princess. *Starts to pout* 

Haruka: I refuse to dress up as "Sleeping Beauty" *Storms out of park* 

Michiru: *To Boss* I am going to be Arial *Boss: No, your Cinderella* I'm Arial!!! *Runs around the park screaming "I'm Arial"*

Setsuna: I control time!!! *Kid: I didn't know that Mickey Mouse controlled time*

Hotaru: Can I be Sailor Saturn? *Boss: No, Sailor Saturn isn't a Disney character* Too bad!!! *Transforms and goes into the park* *Boss: But she isn't Disney Character!!!* 

35. Floss Makers

Usagi: Even I couldn't screw this up!!! All you have to do is put wax on a string! _2 minutes later_ *she's tangled in string and covered in wax* How did I manage to screw this up?

Ami: *To boss* Can I update your machinery? *Boss: No* Can I update your machinery? *Boss: No* Can I update your machinery? *Boss: No* Can I update your machinery? *Boss: No* Can I update your machinery? *Boss: No! Your fired!*

Rei: The wax isn't hot enough to spread on the string. *Evil thoughtful look* I'll just warm it up a little! _1 minute later_ *the factory is covered in scalding hot wax*

Mako: This is sooooo boring. *Accidentally kicks the conveyer belt* oops *factory blows up*

Minako: *To boss* Can I write 'Sailor V rox' on the string? *Boss: No* Can I write 'Sailor V rox' on the string? *Boss: No* Can I write 'Sailor V rox' on the string? *Boss: No* Can I write 'Sailor V rox' on the string? *Boss: No! Go away insane person!!!*

Haruka: Wax and string, why can't everyone just make their own floss! They need to sacrifice themselves...*Goes on Sacrifice Rant t m *

Michiru: This wax is good for my hands! Can I work overtime? *strange/horrified looks from all*

Setsuna: Aaahhhh!!! The string is moving too fast!!! I can't put wax on it! I know I'll stop time! *Stops time* Now, how do I start time again? *shrugs* Oh well, too bad.

Hotaru: This is boring. *Boss: are you having fun?* *Classic Hotaru Death Glare tm *

36. Cafeteria Workers

Usagi: *To Principal* I cooked all of the food myself! *Kids throwing-up in background*

Ami: I removed all of the sugar and fats from the food to make it healthier! *Kids: NOOOO*

Rei: *kid: It's cold* Here let me warm it up for you, *burns food and child* 

Mako: *To Principal* I cooked all of the food myself! *Kids run up and hug her* Um...what are you doing? *kids: we love you!!*

Minako: You little brats should be thankful that there are people like me to serve you food so stop complaining or I'll kill all of you!!! *dead silence* Thank you!

Haruka: *Kid: are you a girl or a guy?* I am a cross dresser. *All Kids: What's a cross dresser?* Well, a cross dresser is a girl that dresses like a guy or a guy that dresses like a girl! _the next day_*All kids are now cross dressing*

Michiru: Violinists eat free!!! *Violinists: Yippee!*

Setsuna: Here's your food and here's some medicine for upset stomachs, you'll need it!

Hotaru: *kid: your a freak* Is that so? *blasts kid into wall*

37. Authors

Usagi: I call it... Sailor Moon!!! *Boss: that's already been invented* oh, oops.

Ami: *Boss: This is a computer guide* yeah, so?

Rei: *Boss: It's only one word* I know and it's the best word of all time! Fire!

Mako: This about fighting! *Boss: And?* Fighting! *Boss: Anything else?* No, it's about fighting!

Minako: It's about the goddess of love and beauty! *Boss: Um...why is your picture on the front cover?*

Haruka: I call it... become a cross dress in three short sessions!

Michiru: *To boss* Here's the first half! *Boss: Half? But it's 8,765,764,793,485,948 pages long!*

Setsuna: I call it...My days guarding the time gate!

Hotaru: I call it...My Body Was Used As A Host For An Evil Alien Named Mistress 9 Who Was Trying To Take Over The World! 

****

38. Computer Hackers

Usagi: *Reading from hacking handbook* 'Push any key to continue' I can't find the any key!!! *starts to wail*

Ami: *Hacked into the pentagon, white house, and every single government file on earth in 3 minutes flat*

Rei: *messing with people's personal lives by hacking into their E-mail accounts*

Mako: Stupid Computer! *breaks computer* Wait, now I have to buy a new one!!

Minako: Delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete! *Deletes all government files*

Haruka: Minako! Did you delete all the government files?

Michiru: *hacked into make-up company files to make sure the she was the #1 customer*

Setsuna: *did the same thing Ami did except it took her 4 minutes*

Hotaru: Starts World War 3 through E-Mail (accidentally, she got the e-mail addresses of the World Leaders mixed-up)

I know I cut this one a little short, but I wanted to try something new. There are some more little notes at the end of the story. So please enjoy! The story is kind of corny but I thought it was funny! People will still get out of character (what else is new).

****

Stage Props

Director: Ok! today is the first day of filming for The Sailor Senshi Vs. The Evil Thing !! Before we start for safety reasons we have replaced your weapons and attacks with stage props. We'll use computer graphics to make them look real later. 

Yaten: You have got to be kidding. You replaced our stuff! You little-

Seiya: Yaten, chill, it's just for while we're filming. Ok?

Director: Great! Places every body!!!

(Outers go on stage and inners and starlights go off stage)

Yoma: I have taken over the body of the young actor! I will kill you all!!! 

Director: Great this looks so real! Just pretend he's still the actor! This is great!

Haruka: Ok then, my next line was...oh yah! I will call up my talisman! My Space...base ball bat? Who wrote these lines their ridicules I would never say something so stupid! And who's idea was this? 

(Haruka holds up the base ball bat that replaced her sword)

Michiru: Hush Haruka! It's my turn! I will now call up my talisman! 

(Skillet appears)

Michiru: A skillet? What am I supposed to do? Stir-fry him?

Setsuna: Owww!!!! Who's idea was it to replace my rod with a tree limb? I have splinters now!!!!

Hotaru: Here, let me try. I call up my Silence Glaive!

(Broom appears)

(Hotaru stares at the broom in disgust)

(Ami comes into view dragging a full sized harp)

Ami: It's too heavy!!!

(Ami collapses to the ground)

Rei: Here let me! Flame...drum sticks?

Mako: Jupiter Oak...homework?

Minako: This is ridicules! My chain has been replaced by a jump rope!

Usagi: Moon...tree? It's rooted! I can't move it!

Chibi-Usa: Pink Sugar...yummy sugar packets!

(Chibi-Usa starts to eat the sugar straight)

Chibi-Chibi: Chibi!

(Window appears)

(Chibi-Chibi starts to open it and close it over and over again)

Cosmos: I will call up my staff!

(Skyscraper appears)

Cosmos: Ok this is just pathetic.

Yoma: As soon as I defeat you all I will take over the world!!!

Haruka: I don't think so! 

(Haruka hits the Yoma with the base ball bat)

(Nothing happens)

(Haruka throws the base ball bat at the director)

(Yoma knocks Haruka unconscious)

Michiru: Will you please get in this skillet so I can stir-fry you?

(Yoma knocks Michiru unconscious)

Setsuna: Splinters!!!

(Yoma knocks Setsuna unconscious)

(Hotaru walks up to the director)

Hotaru: I'm supposed to destroy the world with this?

(Throws the broom at the director)

Hotaru: You destroy the world with a broom

(Hotaru leaves the building/set)

Ami: I can't play the harp!!! 

(Yoma knocks Ami unconscious)

Rei: Would ya like some drum sticks?

(Yoma knocks Rei unconscious)

Mako: Do all this homework and come back when your finished.

(Yoma knocks Mako unconscious)

(Minako does an over dramatic approach and attack with the jump rope and gets knocked unconscious)

Usagi: It's rooted!!!

(Yoma knocks Usagi unconscious)

Chibi-Usa: Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Yoma gives sugar high Chibi-Usa a strange look and decides to leave the insane girl alone) 

(Yoma knock Chibi-Chibi unconscious while she's playing with the window)

(Yoma approaches Cosmos who runs inside her sky scraper)

Cosmos: There's nothing in here!!! What kind of sky scraper doesn't have stairs or an elevator!!!!!

(Yoma knocks Cosmos unconscious)

Seiya: Star Serious Laser!!!

(A laser false on top of Seiya)

Taiki: Star Gentle Uterus

(Storks start dropping babies)

Taiki: That's not what I meant!!!

(Taiki gets knocked unconscious by a falling baby)

Yaten: Star Sensitive Inferno!!!

(Yaten catches on fire)

(Yoma knocks Yaten unconscious) 

(Chibi-Usa knocks yoma unconscious by running him over in her sugar high)

Chibi-Usa: Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

__

3 years later

Chibi-Usa: Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Chibi-Usa finally falls asleep)

(Everybody lives happily ever after...or do they?)

(Saturn88 does an evil laugh)

Ok! So what did you think? I need some advise. Do you want me to put up 10 jobs and no story or 8 jobs and a story? Please tell me. And if you want to post my fan fics on your web site or whatever you don't have to ask me for permission just tell me and give me credit! And please don't flame me. Flames aren't nice.

Back for good,

saturn88 


	5. more jobs+a story

Ok, sorry that took so long but I've been busy lately. I'm going away again and I wanted to post before I left, so this one's a little short. As always, I own nothing, don't sue. People get OOC , don't flame.

****

More Jobs and a Story

Hair Salon Workers

Usagi: Your all done! *Girl is bald*

Ami: Wait! This hair is 1/ a mm. longer than the rest! *Measures every strand of hair to make sure that there all the same length*

Rei: Instead of shaving you head, how 'bout I burn all your hair off? *Man and all the other customers run in fear*

Mako: *Person: um, where are the scissors?* *Chops off hair with her hand* 

Minako: Your done! *Person has blonde hair pulled up in a red bow* *Person: I wanted it dyed red* Blonde is better! 

Haruka: Are you prepared to sacrifice your hair? *Kid: um, yes, I think* 

Michiru: Let me guess! you want you hair dyed blue and crimped! *Person: Actually, I just want a trim* Too bad!

Setsuna: *Little kid is scared of the scissors* Don't worry! You wont feel a thing! *Injects kid* *Kid falls asleep*

Hotaru: I think that you should cut your hair to shoulder length. *Man: But my hair's 2 inches long*

Golfers

Usagi: *Tries to hit the ball with the club upside down* It's not working!!!!

Ami: *Does extensive calculations* *Caddy: Um, Miss Mizu? The ball is only an inch from the hole*

Rei: *Ball lands in tall grass* *Burns the grass* Much better!

Mako: *Turns clubs into lightning rods* *Manager: Miss, the clubs are for hitting ball with. Not conducting electricity. Please come down from the roof!*

Minako: Yeah! Golf cart!!!!!!!!! *Tears up field in her golf cart and never even hits a ball*

Haruka: *Beets all men on the golf course to prove that women can golf!*

Michiru: The grass isn't all cut to same length. Imperfections must be fixed!!!! *Cuts all grass to one length*

Setsuna: *gets stuck in a sand trap* I know! *Opens time warp and goes back in time to when there wasn't a sand trap there*

Hotaru: *Manager: Sorry, your too young to go on the course without a parent* *Death glare* *Manager:...But I can tell your a very mature child. Please don't hurt me*

Tennis Players

Usagi: *Tries to hide behind her racket and gets pummeled with balls*

Ami: *adjusts ball shooter to shoot softer* This is great! I'm winning! *No balls have made it over the net*

Rei: *Gets mad at the ball shooter and sets it on fire*

Mako: I'm loosing to a machine! That's not possible!

Minako: This isn't working! *Drops racket and hits the balls like volley balls* *Breaks her arm* Ouch

Haruka: I will not wear the skirt. It's worse than my fuku. *Puts on boy's uniform and joins the men's league*

Michiru: *Hits all the balls with incredible grace and balance* *Usagi: She's too perfect! She's not human!!!!*

Setsuna: *Gets hit in the head* *Starts to sing I've Been Working on the Rail Road*

Hotaru: This requires physical activity. I don't like physical activity. *Uses her glaive to blow up the tennis court*

Dog Trainers

Usagi: *Running from dog* Aaahhhh!!! SIT! *Dog keeps chasing her* 

Ami: *Teaches dog Calculus*

Rei: Do what I say or I'll burn you to a crisp. Sit! *Dogs sit*

Mako: Sit or become my newest punching bag! *Dogs sit*

Minako: I like cats better than dogs. *Gets attacked by dogs*

Haruka: Sit! *Blows whistle* 85 laps around the track for all the dogs that did not sit on command! 

Michiru: Don't mess up my painting and we're all good. *Dog messes up painting* Deep Submerge!!

Setsuna: Sit or be forever banished to the time warp!!! *Dogs sit*

Hotaru: Sit or die. *Gives Death Glare* *Dogs sit*

****

Butterfly Catchers

Usagi: *Catches a butterfly in her super sailor moon transformation* I Got one! I got one! *Accidentally crushes it*

Ami: *Raise a butterfly from a caterpillar because it was too hard to catch a butterfly*

Rei: Butterfly, where are you? *Goes around city asking the butterflies to come out*

Mako: *orders some online to save time*

Minako: *Runs around city chasing butterflies with a net*

Haruka: Butterflies are too feminine. So I caught a rattle snake instead! *holds up snake*

Michiru: *Butterflies come to her in aw of her perfectness*

Setsuna: *Running through time* There has to be a time where butterflies ruled the world, there just has to!

Hotaru: Slow down butterflies!!! I don't run that fast! 

****

Locked in a Room

Haruka was in her room after a meeting with the other senshi. It had been held at her house and living room was a wreck. Plus those darn Starlights had been there. Haruka hated the starlights. Especially Seiya.

"Haruka, there's a box down here that I need some help moving!" Michiru called from down stairs. Haruka went down to help her and found her outside the unused guest room.

"It's in there," She said pointing to the open door. Haruka walked into the room and didn't see a box. Suddenly, Michiru grabbed Haruka's wand and slammed and locked the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Seiya was on the other side of the house searching for his briefcase that he seemed to have miss placed at Haruka's house. 

"Seiya, I found it!" Yaten called from across the hall.

"It's in there. You get it, it's your case," Yaten said with his typical I-don't-want-to-be-here attitude. Seiya walked in and Yaten grabbed his wand and locked the door behind him.

Haruka saw Seiya. Seiya saw Haruka. Michiru came on the intercom.

" We're not letting you out until you form a friendship!" she called. 

Haruka looked around the room. There was a chair next to a dresser, which was next to the bed. There was a lamp on the dresser and a chair across the room, other than that the room was empty. Haruka sat down in the chair next to the bed and Seiya took the one across the room. 

They sat in silence for 5 hours before Seiya finally spoke up.

"Haruka, why don't we just form a temporary friendship so we can get out of this room," he suggested. Haruka responded by throwing the lamp at him. Seiya ducked and avoided getting hit.

They sat in silence for another hour. Seiya spoke up again.

"Come on Haruka, we really need to form a friendship," Seiya pleaded. Haruka threw the dresser at him. 

"Please Haruka!!!" Seiya pleaded. 

"Why are you suddenly so desperate to from a friendship?" Haruka asked him.

"Because I have to go to the bathroom!!!" Seiya replied. Haruka sweatdropped and threw the bed at him. 

"Well, do you have a better idea?" He asked her. 

Haruka stood up and walked to the center of the room. "If you tell anybody about this I swear I will kill you." With that she turned into her princess form since she didn't need her wand for that transformation. 

She called up her space sword and cut a hole through the ceiling.

"Um, wouldn't it be easier to just cut down the door?" Seiya asked as she climbed up in the ceiling. 

"I'm getting revenge," She told him.

"Wait for me!" He called.

Haruka rolled her eyes and waited for him to climb up. When he was up she sealed the hole and cut a hole over the bathroom for Seiya. When he finished they crawled over to where Michiru and Yaten were sitting.

"Do you think we should check to make sure that they didn't kill one another," Michiru asked Yaten.

"Yeah, I haven't heard any shouting or crashes for a while," Yaten replied. When they got to the room and unlocked the door Haruka and Seiya dropped down behind them. They took their wands and locked Michiru and Yaten in the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~Inside the room~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Michiru sat in the chair by the upside down bed and started reapplying her lipstick.

"That's a terrible color. You should pick a different one," Yaten remarked. Michiru crushed her lipstick container and threw the bed at Yaten. Yaten threw the lamp at her and a fight began. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Outside the room~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Haruka and Seiya were cracking up laughing. Seiya was laugh so hard that he lost his balance and leaned on Haruka. Haruka pounded him into the floor, and a fight ensued.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Down the street~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Setsuna-mama, why is our house shaking?" Hotaru asked.

"Um, well, it's a grown-up thing," she said, silently praying the young senshi of silence would buy it.

"Ok! Can we get a snack?" Hotaru asked.

"Sure," Setsuna replied and took Hotaru out for a milkshake.

So, what did you think? Other than it being incredibly short was it good? Sorry I took so long to update! Please review and don't flame!

saturn88 

****


	6. More jobsstorycontest

Hi! I finally updated! This chapter is super short but there's a contest with a PRIZE! So as usual, I don't own sailor moon and people are out of Character so don't flame me! I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry that I didn't update. It's been awhile...okay a really long while. You all can thank biblehermione for my return. Thanks biblehermione your the reason I'm continuing this fic! Well enjoy! 

__

*~*Saturn88*~* 

Cross Country Runners

Usagi: *_Gets three feet_* Can't...go...on...*_collapses_*

Ami: According to the theory of insert large word hear I can win the race by insert about 12 large words her

Rei: *_Sets track on fire_* Now I'm sure to win *_laughs evilly_*

Mako: Get out of my way! _*throws random runner off the track and wins the race_*

Minako: *_Gets an entire foot and collapses_* I can't win...Nooooooooooooooooooooo! *_Falls to ground in defeat_*

__

Haruka: _*Is way in the lead, spots Seiya, runs off track in another attempt to kill Seiya_*

Michiru: *_floods track_* Now I can win with ease!

Setsuna: *_Freezes time, and leisurely walks to finish line where she restarts time and wins the race_*

__

Hotaru: I don't run, I make people run. *_Gives other runners death glare causing them to reconsider making fun of the scary gothic girl. Who was, at the moment, holding a glaive*_

****

Secretaries

Usagi: *_boss walks in_* *_papers are scattered everywhere* _I decided to organize it the same way I organize my room! You'll be able to find everything! *_Boss does anime fall and sweet drops*_

Ami: Everything is organized by letter, and with in the letter categories organized by date. *_Boss: you've only been here five minutes._* Oh, I know, I took some pain killer this morning so I'm a little slower than normal. *_Boss passes out in joy_*

Rei:_ *Accidentally sets a document on fire_* No, big deal, it was only the passwords to every program and file in the building! *_Thinks about it_* Oops.

__

Mako: Your papers are organized by color! *_Boss: but their all white* _I know!

Minako: Not important *_throws paper out window* _Not important *_throws paper out window*_Not important *_throws paper out window* _Not important *_throws paper out window*_Not important *_throws paper out window* _Not important *_throws paper out window*_Not important *_throws paper out window* _Not important *_throws paper out window*_Not important *_throws paper out window* _Not important *_throws paper out window*_Not important *_throws paper out window* _Not important *_throws paper out window*_Not important *_throws paper out window*_

Haruka: _*Looking at a plan for a new machine* _This machine would be perfect for killing Seiya! *_Laughs evilly and runs off to carry out her latest plan*_

Michiru: *_Decides her art needs practice and proceeds to draw all over all the documents*_

Setsuna: *_Travels through time for every document to see if it would be important in ten years* *Boss: Where are all my papers!?!* _Ask yourself, will they be important ten years from now?

Hotaru: I can't reach the top file cabinet! *_Takes out glaive and cuts the file cabinet in two so she can reach the top*_

**** ****

Broadway Stars

Usagi: _*gets out on stage_* Hello Dolley! Yes hello... *_forgets rest of song*_

Ami: *_Is arguing with the stage manager about where exact center stage is*_

Rei: *_Doesn't get lead, so she sets the stage on fire for revenge, inspiring the new musical, The Pyromaniac Of the Musical*_

Mako: I love to Cook! *_Director: no! It's I love to laugh!* _ No it's I love to cook! *_Director: Laugh._* Cook.*_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook.*_Director: Laugh._* Cook.*_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook.*_Director: Laugh._* Cook.*_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook.*_Director: Laugh._* Cook.*_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook. 

*_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook.*_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook. _*Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook.*_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook.*_Director: Laugh._* Cook.*_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook.*_Director: Laugh._* Cook.*_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook. _*Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook.*_Director: Laugh._* Cook.*_Director: Laugh._* Cook.*_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook.*_Director: Laugh._* Cook.*_Director: Laugh._* Cook.*_Director: Laugh._* Cook.*_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook.*_Director: Laugh._* Cook.*_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook.*_Director: Laugh._* Cook.*_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook.*_Director: Laugh._* Cook.*_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook.*_Director: Laugh._* Cook.*_Director: Laugh._* Cook. *_Director: Laugh._* Cook.*_Director: Laugh._* Cook.*_Director: Laugh._* Cook. 

(A/N: If you tell me the correct # of times I put "*_Director: Laugh._* Cook**." ** I will write a fan fic with your story plot, humor only [details at the end of the fic]) 

Minako: I'm a star! *_Director: no your a chorus girl, get back line*_

Haruka: I will not where a dress, I refuse *_Day of show Haruka walks onto stage in a big frill pink dress*_

Michiru: *_plays lead role, fills in for a chorus girl, paints the background, paints and cuts designs stage props, so therefore she is the only person mentioned in the cast list*_

Setsuna: *_Freezes time every five minutes during the show so she can check her script and quickly memorize her next twenty lines*_

Hotaru: *_Director: Hotaru! Your out of place, that note was flat, and your lines have no feeling! Now fix the problems!* *Bashes Director over head with glaive* _ Fixed _my_ problem.

Special Sorry Story

Hearts in Ice Rehearsal 

Director Andy Action sat in his director's chair ready to begin the first day of filming. He was ready to begin and began to tell about the scene.

"OK Snow," he yelled, using the nick name for Princess Snow Kaguya which was way to hard to say, "your about to send your lovely snow dancers to find the crystal. Light, Camera, and Action!"

The curtain pulled back to reveal Snow in a black, tight-fitting dress that looked like something you would see the wife on the Adams Family wear. Everybody off stage was looking at one another for some explanation.

"Go my hip-hop snow punks, go find my crystal!" Snow yelled. Teenage girls in black leather plants and tube tops flew (they were attached to cables) towards Earth (a stage prop).

"CUT!!!! What are you doing, you all are supposed to be in white dresses! And your line is 'Go my lovely snow dancers, find my crystal!' why are you all dressed in black and why did you call them 'snow punks'?" Andy yelled, turning an odd shade of red.

"Well, I thought that hip-hop punks would appeal more to our teenage audience, as opposed ballet dancers," Snow explained nonchalantly.

"Go change," Andy ordered. "Let's try a different scene." 5 minutes later the set had been transformed into a coffee shop and Haruka, Michiru, and Setsuna were all seated in a booth and the cameras were in position.

"Lights, Camera, and Action!"

"Well I guess our-" Michiru began but was cut off by somebody ranting.

"Sir, we're sorry but this girl want ed to talk to you," a security said as he tried to keep the small girl under control.

"HOTARU!!!" all of the senshi yell in astonishment.

"OK, why am I not in this movie? I wasn't in Promise of the Rose either. And Chibi-Usa gets to be in this movie. Why am I not featured in any of the movies?" She screamed at nobody unparticular.

"Um...well...you couldn't really do anything since all of your attacks either blow up the world or kill you," Andy explained.

"I can make a shield!" Hotaru yelled back. Well, they argued for a while until reinforcements came to help the security guard drag Hotaru away.

"I will have my revenge!" She yelled as they dragged her off stage.

"OK let's try this again, Michiru you start. Take 2. Lights, Camera, Action!"

"Well I guess our icy friends haven't come back yet," Michiru said, actually finishing her line this time. Extras ran by screaming their lines as they passed the window. Suddenly black fire shot through the window.

"CUT!!! What is going on ice is supposed to crash through the window not black fire! Who is responsible for this?" Andy yelled throwing his script to the ground.

"Well I think that black fire is allot cooler and more modern than simple ice," Snow explained as she walked up to the director.

"We're filming Hearts in Ice. Not Punks in Black Flames," Andy screamed at her. He turned his attention to the cast and crew, "Lets try another scene, and no modifications this time."

10 minutes later the scene had been changed to Ray's home and all of the Actresses were in their positions.

"OK Minako, you are running in late. Ray your ticked off at her. Lights, Camera, Action!" Andy yelled.

Minako ran on stage. "Sorry I'm late guys," she said as she came up.

"What else is new, your always-" Ray was interrupted by Usagi's screams. Usagi's skirt was on fire and she was running about the stage burning everything in her path. Everybody began to panic and in 5 minutes they had managed to burn down the entire set. 

"Lets try ANOTHER scene," Andy said once everything had calmed down and the fire had been put out.

10 minutes later the scene had been charged to a busy street.

"OK Snow dancer's this your first attack. Lights, Camera, Action!" Andy yelled.

"Hey look!" Usagi and Chibi-Usa yelled. They were about to turn and run when it started to rain flower petals and Fiori appeared, looking very confused.

"CUT!!! Fiori, wrong movie," Andy yelled.

"Oh. Sorry everybody," He said and turned and left.

"OK I've had all I can take. We'll start again tomorrow at 6 A.M. So everybody go home." Andy said in defeat.

****

The next day Andy was sitting in his director's chair, armed for disaster with fire extinguishers all around him and he had a large cup of coffee on the stool next to him.

"Alright lets try the first snow dancer attack, the part where the outers morph. Lights, Camera, Action!" He shouted.

The curtains pulled back to reveal a crowded street with people running and screaming. The outers raced out of the coffee shop to morph. The were about to scream out their henshin phrases when a metal cage fell on top of them.

"What the-"

"CUT!!!"

"Who-"

Everybody was running about in confusion when the lights went out. Everybody screamed and started groping around for the light switch. Rei finally found it and flipped the lights on. Everybody looked up to the stage to see Hotaru with a knife pushed up against Andy's throat.

"I only wanted a part in the movie! But you wouldn't give it to me. So now I have to kill you," She ranted psychotically.

"Hey! If you kill his can I turn the movie into Punk Rockers in Black Flames?" Snow asked.

"Sure, as long as I have a part," Hotaru said.Suddenly Fiori appeared out of no where and landed on top of Hotaru. Andy dashed away to call security. Fiori realized he was, once again, in the wrong movie again and disappeared. Security dragged Hotaru away while she swore she would get her revenge.

Andy sat back down and took a long drink of his coffee.

"Alright we'll try the part where everyone is one the bridge talking about the recent attacks. Lights, Camera-"

"Hold on! According to this script I'm not in this scene," Mamoru said, walking up to the director.

"Yeah, so?" Andy asked.

"So?! I'm a very important member of this team! I should be part of the scene!" He shouted.

"No, you shouldn't"

"Yes, I should!" Mamoru shouted back.

"THAT'S IT! IF I HEAR ONE MORE COMPLAINT OR ONE MORE SCENE GOES WRONG, I'LL BE FORCE TO KILL ALL OF YOU!" Andy raved, waving around a knife that just appeared out of no where.

And so, Hearts in Ice proceeded to be filmed without any other interruptions. Hotaru and Andy were both checked into the mental hospital after the movie was complete. And so, Andy and Hotaru planned their revenge and proceeded to break out of the mental hospital. 

But, they both failed to realize that they were on the 20th floor at the time they jumped and ended up in the normal hospital. There, Andy and Hotaru decided that revenge wasn't worth the pain of two broken legs, a fractured hip, a sprained arm and a variety of cuts and bruises. 

Henceforth, the filming of the next season went without problems and the senshi lived in peace and happiness. Not really, but things better. 

Alright. Yeah, that was short. But the next chapter will be (hopefully) longer Because it will be the stories for the contest winners. 

If I'm on your favorites list right now (3-6-03) you automatically win the prize with out counting, just put "1" at the start of your review so I know it's one of you 8 peoples. 

*Rules:

You must have the correct number (Duh)

In your review you put the story plot (I only need a sentence or two) and the title.

Absolutely NOTHING containing drinking 

Absolutely NOTHING perverted, if you think it may be questionable don't even bother I wont write it. This fic is rated PG and that rating WILL NOT increase. (sorry to lecture but I refuse to write anything inappropriate) 

You reviewed before 4-1-03. 

Good luck! Go ahead and review! 

__

*~*Saturn88*~*


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